Resolutions are generally bullshit. By the second week of January, we are usually back to our old ways of skipping the gym, popping open that second bottle of wine, and buying (more) crap we don’t need off of eBay. But sex resolutions are more fun and therefore, we’d like to think, more likely to actually be accomplished.
Here are 25 sex resolutions for 2014 — don’t try them all at once now!
- Have some sex.
- Try at least one new toy that scares the shit out of me.
- Figure out how to do it while standing up in in the shower without slipping and breaking face.
- Throw away crotchless panties and those uncomfortable thongs we never wear.
- Get STD tested again.
- Try for more simultaneous orgasms.
- Experiment more with Tantric sex.
- More meaningful sex and less “because he’s in the mood” sex.
- Get over our inhibitions about being LOOOOOOOOOUUUUD.
- Do my Kegels!
- Buy some nice lingerie. Or, really, any lingerie.
- Try anal … even just a little bit.
- Have sex somewhere other than on the bed.
- Change my sheets more promptly after doing the deed.
- Actually use those furry handcuffs that I got in a gift bag.
- Kick the cat out of the room when my boyfriend and I are doing it.
- Snuggle more.
- Find that goddamn G-spot.
- Have sex outside under the stars! (When it’s warm out again, I mean!)
- Always keep condoms in stock!
- Go shopping for a sex toy with my dude that we’d both enjoy.
- Say I want to go to sleep when I really just want to go to sleep.
- Conquer a position I find weird and difficult.
- Be quieter when my roommate is at home.
- Watch porn that I actually like.
